Curse of Touch
by Blackthorn89
Summary: Rogue finds a book that will help her powers...but what is she willing to do to get rid of them?
1. The book

X-men- The Curse of Touch 

Hey everyone! I like Rogue and Remy type stories, so here's one of my own. Please don't flame me!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Xmen, however much I wish I could.

Chapter One: Would It Work?

Rogue twirled a white blond streak of hair around her finger absently. She was currently staring out at the sunset from her balcony. The breeze blew gently around her, making her smile briefly. The dying rays of sunlight hit upon her emerald green eyes and caused the person watching her to see the bright green flames dance in their depths. She raised an eyebrow.  
"Kurt. Stop ya hidin'. Come out here ya blue fuzz ball," she said, her mouth quirking in a knowing and yet cynical smile. The person that stepped out of the shadows of the next balcony over smiled sheepishly. Kurt, otherwise known as Nightcrawler, was a teleporter with blue fur. He had pointed teeth and a whip like tail that ended in an arrow. Also he was German.  
"Mien Schwester. I vos not hiding," he said defensively.  
"Sure Kurt. An' Kitty isn't fazed inside tha curtain," she said sarcastically. There was a small yelp and Kitty Pride, a.k.a Shadowcat, fell over. She raised her head and smiled sheepishly as well.  
"Well, since you were, like, depressed at dinner, we thought we should, like, see if you were okay," Kitty's normally bright and happy face disappeared and she was actually frowning in concern. Rogue frowned herself.  
"What do ya mean? Besides tha fact that ah can't touch anyone, everyone thinks ahm ah freak and, oh yeah, ah have problems controlling mah powers in danger room sessions, why would ah be depressed"  
"Mien Schwester has a point. Keety, ve should just leave her alone," said Kurt, completely missing the sarcasm and glancing at Rogue.  
"Oh, but I have the surprise, like, waiting and everything!" Kitty pouted. Rogue whipped her head around.  
"Surprise? What surprise?" she demanded. Kitty's 'surprises' generally were…well, surprises, to be frank. Rogue had been on the end of several and became wary of the term if it came out of Kitty's mouth and if it had to do with Rogue herself.  
"Come with me and, like, you'll see!" the bubbly girl squealed, grabbed Rogue by her sleeve-covered arm and dragged her downstairs to the front entrance. Rogue kept looking over at Kurt pleadingly, but he shook his head and shrugged sympathetically. The door was flung open and Rogue was again dragged by her arm socket to the mystery destination but this time to the garage that was large enough to fit five cars. Rogue saw the person at the door and nearly raced over there herself. Scott Summers was rather cute in a preppy guy sort of way, but Rogue had been crushing on him since the first time she had laid eyes on him. Jean Grey, another member at the Xavier Institute, must have had some idea about Rogue's crush (being telepathic as she was) and had been trying to get his attention of late. And it had been working.  
"Hello Rogue. I see Kitty and Kurt have told you about the surprise," he nodded and smiled at her. She nodded and blushed.  
"Well, I decided I have been ignoring you of late and got Kitty to grab you so that we could go for a ride in my car. The destination is a surprise though," he winked. She fought down a dreamy sigh and followed him into the garage. As she did, she turned to give thumbs up to Kitty. However, Kitty looked uneasy and just smiled weakly. Rogue was baffled by her roommates' behaviour but squashed the feeling as she got into the car beside Scott. The car pulled out and they were soon driving along a countryside lane. Rogue looked around in delight. She marvelled at the summer blue sky with those fairytale fluffy white clouds and the sun-dappled green trees lining the road. Soon, Scott pulled up beside a lovely stream that had a large sprawling oak beside it on the grass. He opened the door and went around behind the car and pulled out a basket from the trunk. He then came around to a baffled Rogue and smiled.  
"Picnic?" he offered. She smiled and nodded. They sat beneath the oak on a blanket and ate the delicious food that had been packed, talking about various things in between. After a while, Rogue sat back and just enjoyed the view. She was on a picnic in a beautiful setting with a guy she liked. It was perfect.  
"So, what was tha purpose of this?" she asked with a small smile in Scott's direction. He shrugged.  
"You're a nice girl Rogue and I thought you deserved to be treated like the woman you are," he said simply.  
"Really? Ya think that?" she asked cautiously. He nodded. He frowned.  
"Just a sec," he said and he pulled out his mobile. He walked off a bit and began to speak. Rogue was confused. Why talk to someone else if he just wanted privacy for the two of them? Intrigued, she crept after him and hid behind a bush.  
"C'mon guys. I can't do this anymore. Rogue's a nice girl and all that, but she's just a kid. I know it was to make her feel happy instead of depressed for a while, but I don't want to give her false hopes," he said and waited. Tears welled as Rogue tried not to cry out loud. A kid? False hopes? Who the hell did he think he was?  
"Well, I'll just tell her the professor wants me…yeah, end it on a happy note," he continued. Rogue scowled and crept away. She'd heard enough. She began to pack everything away and put it in the car. He came back and gave a puzzled look in her direction.  
"Rogue? What are you doing?" he asked cautiously.  
"Ah just realahsed ah have somethin' ta do. Priority an' othah stuff," she said quickly, but not looking directly at him when she spoke. If she did, she knew she'd start to cry.  
"Uh, sure. No problem. The professor said he wants me anyway," he shrugged. Rogue clenched her teeth as she heard his rehearsed lie, but smiled and nodded. The car trip back was a bit tense and Rogue gratefully jumped out when they arrived home.  
"Uh, thanks Scott," she said quickly, smiled fleetingly and dashed inside.  
"Hey Rogue. How'd it go?" asked Kitty.  
"It was okay," she faked a smile and fled to her room. Once there, she shut her door and began to cry, tears trekking their way down her cheeks. She lay on her bed and cried into her pillow. There was a tentative knock on the door.  
"Rogue, child? It's Ororo," came a voice.  
"Come in," she mumbled. The door opened and Ororo Monroe, a.k.a Storm, stepped inside, closing the door gently behind her.  
"Child, they didn't mean to cause you pain," she said softly.  
"Storm, they played mah emotions! Kitty knew ah have…had," she corrected herself, "feelin's for Cyclops an' she goes an' sets this up! He doesn't feel for meh what he feels for Jean! Ah felt lahke such ah schoolgirl beyond her depth," she snarled into her pillow.  
"Honey, then I suggest you go and find your own depth," Storm said kindly. Rogue paused and raised her head to meet Storm's gaze.  
"Ya mean fahnd someone else?" she said finally. Storm nodded. Rogue frowned. Simply get over Scott and move on? Forget her crush on him that she had had for as long as she had been at the institute?  
"That mahght be ah good ideah," she said eventually. Storm smiled.  
"Well, Kitty would like to know if you would consider coming with her to the mall. Kind of a present to ask for your forgiveness," she said softly. Rogue nodded. She could never stay mad at Kitty for too long.  
"Ah'll just get mah purse an' be rahght down," Rogue assured the native woman. Storm nodded and left. Rogue got up and walked over to her mirror. Did she really want to move on so easily, despite what she had said to Storm? Scott Summers was everything she had wanted in a boyfriend, if she could have one when she got control of her powers. He was nice, kind, good-looking (to her anyway) and dedicated to keeping the X-men alive. So whom would she try to forget about him with? Noone fit the description she wanted. And who would go out with her anyway? Who was at her 'depth'? Noone, she realised. Sure, there were some that resented their powers and grumbled or complained constantly, but noone loathed their powers like she did. Noone was as dark and moody as she was. She glanced down at the black pants, shirt, gloves and zip-up boots she was currently wearing and sighed. No wonder no one came near her- even if she was an untouchable. She took one last look in the mirror and grabbed her purse before heading downstairs to the waiting Kitty.

After three hours, Rogue was getting fed up. The mall wasn't her place; she had only come with Kitty because Kitty wanted to make it up to her.  
"So Rogue, what about, like, this one?" Kitty turned in the top she was wearing, which was pink and had the words 'Don't Hate Me Coz I'm Gorgeous' printed on the front in white.  
"Actually, ah lahke that one. It looks good on ya," Rogue said, nodding.  
"Yay! A choice by, like, Rogue!" she squealed and dashed back into the changing rooms. Rogue groaned and rubbed her temples. This was taking it out of her.  
"Oui, de mall is de last place t' relax," an amused voice spoke. Her head whipped around and her emerald eyes clashed with the gorgeous red on black eyes of none other than Remy Lebeau, otherwise known as Gambit.  
"What do ya want Swamp Rat?" she grumbled.  
"Nuttin. Shopping, same as y'," he grinned.  
"Ah'm not. Kitty is," she snorted, gesturing to the booth.  
"Hi Remy!" was called from behind the curtain. Remy grinned.  
"At least someone is glad t' see Remy," he drawled.  
"Yeah, be thankful," Rogue backhanded.  
"Y' wound ol' Remy chere," he said, an injured look appearing on his gorgeous features. Rogue could see the assistant looking over at Remy from behind him, her expression dreamy. Rogue made a face of disgust. Remy turned to see what Rogue was looking at and grinned at the assistant. The assistant giggled and blushed. Rogue rolled her eyes and turned back to the booth.  
"Kit, hurry up or ah'll drag ya out in ya underwear!" she threatened. Inside a squeal was heard.  
"Okay! Keep your, like, pants on!" she complained.  
"Sometimes ah wonder why ah bother," Rogue grumbled.  
"Coz y' love bumpin' int' Remy," Remy grinned again.  
"In ya dreams Swamp Rat. Ya lucky Logan didn't come with us or ya'd be mincemeat rahght now," Rogue said loftily.  
"Oui, but it be worth it t' see y' chere," he whispered softly as he leant forward a bit, and she had to lean back to keep distance.  
"Look Swamp Rat, just leave meh ahlone," she sighed as Kitty came out with ten tops hanging over her arm.  
"You, like, coming with us Remy?" questioned Kitty as she put five of the tops back. Rogue glared at him.  
"Non, but Remy has some stuff t' do. Be seein' y' both around. Au revoir Kitty," he bowed- making her giggle, "an' y' Rogue." He turned and walked away casually. Rogue shook her head and followed Kitty to the counter. After paying for her tops, they went out into a bookstore so Kitty could get the latest romance novel in the series that she enjoyed. Rogue browsed the shelves and came upon a book that finally caught her interest. The spine was blood red and had the words 'The Curse of Touch' scrawled in silver. She pulled it off and riffled through the pages. It was about a woman who couldn't touch anyone else's skin because of a disease that she had and she was the only person in the world that had it. Intrigued, Rogue took it up to the counter and paid for it. Kitty did the same for her book and they left. After an hour in which Kitty accumulated two bracelets, three skirts and five new CD's, they drove off, Rogue feeling a pair of eyes watching her the whole time. She had a feeling it was Gambit, but whenever she turned, he was nowhere to be found. She had given up and kept walking. But the feeling had plagued her til they drove off. Once at the mansion, Rogue thanked Kitty and took her purchases up to her room, which consisted of the book, the new Evanescence album and a new purple lipstick. She lay on her bed and played the album while reading the book. Rogue began to read, getting absorbed in the book. The woman was about her age, with long black hair and blue eyes. Her name was Lily Jaspers. She had been working in her garden, when a curious spider had bitten her. But it had been no ordinary spider and noone had known it had even existed. Until then. Once it had bitten her, she couldn't touch another person without either of them feeling excruciating pain.  
She had fled from her home and noone had seen her since then. She ended up living in an isolated forest, mourning for other human contact. Rogue felt tears sting her eyes as she continued reading. It was like the book was about her life. The book went on to say she had honed her disease, finally getting control in a few short months.  
Rogues' eyes went wide. If the woman had honed her disease so that she could control it at will, why couldn't she? Rogue kept reading, wanting to know more, seeing if it would reveal the secret of the control. Halfway through the book, the character had met a man who had been searching for a rare species of animal. He instantly fell in love with her, but she hadn't gained full control yet. Only enough to keep her own pain at bay for a few precious minutes. Rogue was definitely intrigued now. How could she do it?  
She kept reading, but then a knock announced a presence. She glanced up to see Logan and quickly turned down her music.  
"Hey Logan. What's up?" she asked, her head cocked. She got up and put the book way, keeping her spot bookmarked.  
"Danger Room session kiddo. But it's just you," he said seriously. She looked up at him in surprise.  
"Just meh? How come?" she asked.  
"I wanna see if we can get you up a level," he said finally.  
"Ya mean, test mah boundahries?" she asked bluntly.  
"Yeah. No offence meant Stripes," he added gruffly. She sighed.  
"Fine, Ah'm coming," she grumbled and followed him to their destination. She donned her suit and entered the chamber. She then noticed everyone was watching through the control room. She scowled.  
"Ya never said it was ah full view ta half tha school!" she shouted, her eyes narrowing to slits.  
"Pretend they aren't here. Okay, you've passed level ten. I'm putting you on eleven," Logan called back and the simulation kicked in. It was a battlefield, complete with real-life figures of her teammates.  
"Ugh. Please tell meh ah won't feel any pain if ah get shot," she grumbled as she stalking around a burning chunk of metal.  
"Mien Schwester. Magneto has Logan," simulation Kurt informed her.  
"What! Shit!" she cursed and dodged a flying mutant on her way to get to Kitty, who was slumped on the ground. She crouched over her protectively.  
"Kit, come on. Wahke up!" she demanded. Nothing. She made sure she had no skin showing, picked her friend up and slung her over her shoulder. This was going to be one long simulation.


	2. will it work?

Rogue stretched out on her bed, tired from the simulation. She had managed to free Logan, but accidentally put herself and the rest of the team in danger. She blew out a sigh of annoyance as she remembered how they had shaken their heads at her when she had finished. Noone was perfect, least of all her (to her own standards anyway), so why expect her to exceed what she couldn't beat? Her thoughts wandered until she remembered the book. She got up and went to grab it when she realised it wasn't there. Frowning, she searched her room frantically, wondering where it was. She turned and saw someone sitting on the railing of her balcony. It could have only been Remy Lebeau of course. She walked out to him and noticed he was reading it diligently, not paying her any attention. She raised an eyebrow.

"_Chere_, Remy didn't know y' read romance," a smile quirked his features, yet he remained immersed in the book.

"Ah'm not. Ah didn't realahse it was until ah got halfway through," she said, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"It's very intriguing. Reminds Remy of someone, _non_?" his smile widened and he glanced up at her, his eyes teasing.

"Not that ah know of," she shrugged nonchalantly, ignoring him, and snatched the book out of his hands carefully.

"Hmm. So how did de simulation go?" he changed the subject.

"Ah ended up frying us all an'…hey, how did ya know ah was in simulation?" she demanded.

"Remy hears things," he shrugged.

"Yeah, he hears things alraht," she grumbled, and she was not talking about rumors. She gazed down at the section he had been reading and realised it was the part where Lily had been able to kiss the male character, holding his pain at bay as well. Her eyes widened. She forgot about Remy as she sat on the rail and flipped through the book urgently. A piece of paper fell out and she picked it up, frowning. But hoping at the same time.

"_Chere_? Y' alright?" Remy asked, concern in his voice. Which was rare in itself. But she took no notice of that. She simply nodded and opened the piece of paper. It was in another language, but she was sure it was the secret to controlling her powers.

"Dammit," she groaned in annoyance.

"What's de matter? Y' lost y' page?" Remy teased. No concern there.

"No, it's just…nevah mahnd," she shook her head and gazed at the worn piece of paper. Why was it in another language? The book was in English, so why wasn't the cure?

"What's dat _chere_?" Remy asked, his interest piqued.

"Nothin' ya'd find interestin'…it has no pictures," she tossed back and paused. "Actually, do ya know what it says?" He glanced at it and frowned.

"_Oui_, it's in French…de language of lovers," he grinned teasingly at her, but she wasn't in the mood.

"Could ya deciphah it for meh?" she asked persistently. He frowned thoughtfully.

"Remy could. But what be in it for him?" he asked loftily.

"Bloody Cajun. Alraght, if ya deciphah this, ah'll…go on ah date wit ya," she sighed…anything just to get the code broken. And this curse broken as well.

"Really? Hmm. Sounds temptin'. But Remy will have t' pass on dat. He'll tink o' someting eventually though," he grinned.

"What! Ya kiddin' me! Tha one time ah actually say yes an' ya change tha rules!" she fumed. He simply raised an eyebrow. She sighed with misgiving.

"Fine whatevah. But within reason Swamp Rat," she warned and handed him the paper. He gazed at it and his eyebrows rose.

"Well _chere_, y' really dat desperate t' get rid of y' power, _non_?" he said and raised his eyes to hers. She frowned.

"What's it say Remy?" she asked. They both registered that she'd called him by name but pretended not to notice. Although privately Remy registered that it must be that important to her to not want to call him Swamp Rat or Cajun. He glanced back at the piece of paper in his hand and was unsure in telling her. And Remy Lebeau had never been unsure of anything in his life.

Rogue frowned. Was the great Remy Lebeau, the man every woman- mutant or otherwise- swooned over…unsure? Her automatic response was to laugh and tease him, but this was serious. Didn't he like what he was reading? Was something wrong with it?

"Remy?" she persisted. He sighed. The sound was that of reluctance.

"Y' gotta distance y'self from everyting. Physically, emotionally an' spiritually. Den y' gotta channel y' energy t' y' skin an' test y' mental will. By testin' it out on animals or trees. Anyting dat has a life force. When y' can build up y' mental blocks t' put up a barrier between y' power an' whatever y' touch, den y' are ready. But Rouge, dis goes on for six months!" he said and glanced at her, his eyes gently probing her reaction. Was Remy Lebeau concerned for her? Rouge- the untouchable? It wasn't possible. Was it?

"Look Swamp Rat, ah'll deal wit that when it comes. As for ya, well, ya can leave now. Thanks an' all though," she drawled and took the piece of paper from him. Best thing right now was nonchalance. He glanced at her skeptically and she knew she hadn't fooled him. But he stood and bowed slightly anyway.

"Remy will come tell y' when he tinks of someting y' can do for Remy," he grinned that sexy trademark grin of his and was gone. Rouge stood on her balcony and just went through everything that had just happened. It confused her greatly but suddenly realised she had turned to him first to decipher it. And he had accepted gracefully. Something was niggling at her and she tried to shove it away, but the niggle turned into a nudge. What was it?

FLASHBACK 

"_Honey, then I suggest you go and find your own depth," Storm said kindly. Rogue paused and raised her head to meet Storm's gaze._

"_Ya mean fahnd someone else?" she said finally._

END FLASHBACK 

Was Remy the one on her depth? He constantly still talked to her (did teasing or flirting count?) and sometimes was there when she needed someone to vent her frustrations out on. And never had any qualms about it. What was it that made him still pursue her? Was it because he could never have her? Like the proverbial forbidden fruit. Because he couldn't have her, he wanted her? Or was it maybe something more? She glanced down at the piece of paper in her hand and sighed. She wasn't even interested in the book anymore.

Later that night she lay in her bed, staring up at the roof. She was silently running through the potential places she could go to hone her skills. She'd need an area that was far away from any people, but also well equipped to keep her alive. She'd need access to food and water, not to mention a small, secluded hut or something to live in for the six months that she'd be gone for. What would her friends think? Would they approve? And then a truly horrible thought entered her mind. What if they didn't care if she left? What if they were glad to be rid of her; the freaky gothic girl who was always temperamental- the untouchable? She shook her head, trying to erase those ugly thoughts. Those types of thoughts would be the type of thing to bring her down. Then she wondered about the actual training. She thought about how hard it would be, testing the strength of her mind and body. But also…her soul.

_If ah have one left by tha end of it_, she thought cynically. But she knew she had to do it. Not just for the knowledge that she'd be able to touch again without fear of hurting herself or others, but the knowledge that she be strong enough to accomplish it.

_If ah can do this, ah can do anythin'_ she thought, shifting her gaze to the star-strewn sky outside her balcony doors. But where would she go? And how would she get to her destination? She fidgeted silently for a while, contemplating, until she couldn't take it anymore and got out of bed. She padded silently to her bookshelf and perused the contents. At last, she found was she was looking for and carried the selected book to her bed. She turned on her lamp and sat beneath the covers, getting comfortable. Then she opened the atlas on to her drawn up knees and began to look through its pages, seeking the perfect place to start her training.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Xmen, no matter how much I wish I did.**

Rouge glanced down at the bags at her feet and wished it didn't have to be this way. If there was a different way to do this, she'd take it. But this was her only hope. Unless some miracle happened and they found a way to "cure" them all, she was doomed to spend her life feared and unwanted.

_And unloved_ an unwanted voice in her head said quietly. She scowled and shook her head to rid herself of the pesky voice.

"Rouge? Your lift is here," called out Jean.

"Alraght, ahm comin'" she called back and hefted up her solitary bag with one hand. She took one last glance around her room, realizing that it would be uninhabited for 6 months. Was she strong enough to do this? Leave the only home she'd had for the past few years to only isolate herself further from everyone? What irony that was. Isolate further in order to get closer. The small smile quickly diminished and was replaced by a thoughtful look. Perhaps she'd end up staying away permanently? Perhaps civilization wouldn't appeal to her no more? Would she remain in isolation, so used to it that it would consume her entire being? It was only because of the other Xmen that she went out regularly to keep her from completely shutting everyone out. But these thoughts didn't scare her; on the contrary, it made her want to leave. To never be bothered with incessant annoyances, bickering and…Remy. She frowned. Why was it that she felt reluctant to leave the one person that irritated her so much? Ok yes he did sometimes make her feel a bit better (she didn't even like admitting that to herself) but he was generally a royal pain in the ass, thinking he was always right and reveling in all the attention those mindless females gave him. It sickened her sometimes, it really did. How on earth did anyone else stand him? Well, except for Logan of course…he hated Remy.

And it was no wonder really; Remy revved Logan up just for fun. And Logan was not one to be revved. He didn't get the name Wolverine for nothing.

"Rouge, like, now!" squealed Kitty.

"Alraght!" she growled and carried her bags out her door and down to the main entrance of the mansion. She could see everyone giving her curious glances, but she noticed they all had relief etched in their eyes. She scowled at them all, giving them the full force of her coldest stare and they all flinched in unison. Satisfied, she smiled brightly at Logan as she went through the front door.

"Hey Stripes, uh, take good care of yourself alright?" he said gruffly.

"Ah will Logan. Don't worry bout meh," she said and patted his sleeved arm.

"Bye kid," he said at last after gazing down for a few minutes and ruffled her hair. She ducked quickly and grinned mischievously. Her smile faltered a bit when she saw Remy. Her hackles automatically went up but he said nothing. No facial expression graced his features, as though he were chiseled in stone. She felt confused. Where were the jibes? The famous sarcastic wit? He looked awfully serious.

"Rouge, I don't want y' t' go," he said simply. Rouge froze. He'd called her _Rouge_! And spoke in first person! Wait, he didn't want her to go?! She cleared her throat carefully, but she still sounded hoarse.

"Why?"

"I love y' Rouge, powers 'n' all. If y' go, life ain't de same witout y here," he said, his dark eyes probing gently.

"Remy ah need ta control these powers. If ah don't, ah could hurt ya or someone else," she said, frustrated that he didn't understand.

"Look Cajun. Rouge has to do this for her reasons, so don't try and deter her with all your bullshit," Logan snarled.

"It's not bullshit, _chere_, Remy loves y' but y' don't need t' control dem powers. Y' fine just da way y' are," Remy said, clearly confused by her lack of astonishment to his declaration.

"That's why ah can't take ya seriously Cajun! Ya don't understand!" she said, glaring. So what if he had declared his love for her, it meant nothing if he didn't understand what she was trying to do.

"Help Remy t' understand den," he said, clearly lost now.

"Ah want ta touch people, ah want ta hug and kiss and dance with people. Ah don't want ta be afraid of accidentally killing someone from one touch. Ah can't live life like tha'," she said hysterically, waving around her hands in agitation.

"But if…" he began.

"No Remy!! Ah have ta leave here an' just discovah it for mahself without any of ya help or interference….ah have ta do this for mahself," she'd started in a shout, but she'd finished her sentence in a broken whisper. Nightcrawler stood beside her.

"Mein Schwester. Time to go?" he asked solemnly.

"Yeah Kurt. Fire away," she sighed, picked up her bags and looked up at him expectantly. He took a hold of her covered arm and they vanished in a puff of blue smoke and brimstone.

"Bloody idiot and that smell. He needs to make a new scent," grumbled Scott into the stillness that had settled. Logan gave him a look.

"Cyclops, shut up."

That was the new chappy. Sorry it took so long. Ive been majorly swamped by everything life has to offer. lol. anyway, please review and give me some suggestions for my next chappy plz!!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own xmen, no matter how much I iwsh I did

**Disclaimer: I do not own Xmen, no matter how much I wish I did**

The acrid smell of brimstone and the small 'bamf' noise let Rouge know that they had arrived at her destination. She opened her eyes to see the edge of the jungle she had chosen. She gave a small smile to Kurt.

"Thanks Kurt. Ah knew it'd be hard ta do this, not seeing where ya goin' an' all," she said softly.

"Mein Schwester, it vos no trouble. But if I could take you back I vould," he said, eyes downcast.

"Kurt, it's coz ah care for ya that ah have ta do this so no one gets hurt by meh," she said, her eyes understanding.

"Or is it that you don't get hurt by no one?" he returned quietly. She blinked. Since when had Kurt been that upfront? With her of all people? He normally didn't speak his mind so clearly.

"Don't be silly Kurt," she snorted.

"You might think this is to help your powers, but I think its so you can isolate from all of us more," he said quietly. She bit her lip, yet said nothing. It was partly true, but she did want to learn how to control her powers. She couldn't do that at the institute for fear of hurting someone and being sent away anyway.

"Especially Remy," he added. She glared at him.

"That was uncalled for," she growled.

"Your reaction proves its true," he said with a hint of a smile. She scowled but said nothing.

"Look, Ah just need to deal okay? I'll be back Kurt," she said finally.

"Alright. Let us know when you vant to come back...if you vant to come back," he said seriously and was then gone in his signature smoke and smell. Rogue felt a small pang of regret as he left. She was all alone now. It made her feel slightly ashamed to admit that he had been right and also embarrassed that once she was alone, she was having a tiny doubt surface….would it work? Was it even worth it? She turned around and gazed at the forbidding jungle, dark and dense and just plain uninviting. Was she insane?

**Sorry people,I had to just show you where she went. I have no clue what to write next! Do you think Remy should follow later on? Or will she give up? U guys can decide.**

**Blackthorn89**


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own xmen-dammit.  
**_Three months later_

Rogue gazed out the window if her private sanctuary, the rain falling lightly outside. The jungle was absent of noise, all the creatures great and small hiding away from the dismal weather. She sighed quietly to herself and swept her gaze across the small hut she inhabited. It was sparsely furnished, with a small bed made out of woven ferns and such and also a sink she had rigged with bamboo stalks to bring rainwater down to the sink from the roof. She watched with an amused smile as a small beetle got plopped into the water filled sink and watched it swim lazily around in circles.  
"Ya poor little thang. Here, I'll get you out," she smiled and strode over to the sink. She cradled it in her hand and then placed it on the window sill where it dried off and then fluttered away with quick wings.  
"Wish ah could escape as easily as you, little one," she said forlornly and went and sat on her bed, going over the past few months in her mind. Being here all alone was taking a toll on her, not just physically but emotionally as well. One person wasn't meant to remain in isolation for as long as she was trying for. But she had to admit that it was kind of nice being somewhere that didn't have people ignoring her or giving her strange looks as she walked past. She turned a mournful face to the window again and sighed fitfully. She missed Logan and Kurt and even the constantly babbling Kitty. She bit her lip, who was she kidding? She knew who it was she really missed and that was Remy Lebeau, even if she didn't like admitting to anyone, including herself. She gazed at her hands, still not believing the miracle she had succeeded with. She could finally touch things, small might they be, without hurting herself or others. The largest she could touch was a mouse, but still, she had accomplished it! Still gazing at her hands, she remembered back to the time when she had first succeeded.

_**Flashback**_

_She stared doubtfully at the little beetle she had trapped in a little container, biting her lower lip. She knew she could do this, so why was she so nervous? She took a deep shuddering breath and closed her eyes. She concentrated hard, regulating her breathing then carefully as she could; she reached inside herself to the mental force field that was erected around her mind. It guarded her thoughts from the presences she usually collected after touching someone. She concentrated a bit more, extending the force field so that it protected all of her body. It tensed when she stopped, feeling like a rubber band waiting to snap back at a moments notice. She then reached for the beetle, placing it in her hand and waited. No pain or thoughts came into her mind at all and she gazed down at the beetle crawling happily along her life line on her palm. She smiled and put it back down, pleased with herself. The force field snapped back suddenly and returned back to its original position around her mind._

_**End flashback**_

She could only do it for a short amount of time, hence only she touch tiny animals. She was working on extending her timing but so far it wasn't going to well, the entire process taking up her energy and forcing her into bed for a few hours. She watched the rain start to cease and then got up, decided a walk would do her some good. She ventured out the door and into the cool forest, her dagger the only weapon she carried on her person. She knew she had no use for such a weapon, after all, wasn't she a deadly enough weapon as it was? But she had kept it regardless, it being a present from Logan she had found stowed in her bag. She chuckled humorlessly, remembering the other present she had found stowed away. Kitty must have decided she would need better decent clothes and so had put in a couple of tops that she thought would deem suitable. The only problem had been that they were pink. Not so much a problem now as all Rogue ever wore were light colors…they kept her cool when the weather got very hot.

_**Sorry people I can't type much else. My comp went stupid, so I can only give you this much.**_


End file.
